Miscarriage and infant loss happen more often than we realize — and certainly more often than we talk about. The experience is heartbreaking and lonely. That’s why we offer the Sisterhood of Loss Circle at Blooma Nashville: to create a safe space for women to find connection and understanding in a women’s circle of compassion. The circle is facilitated by a woman who’s walked that journey.
In February 2015, Khilah Butler experienced the loss that no mother should have to go through: She lost her son when he was born still at 32 weeks. Early in her journey of grief, she made the bold decision to attend Birth Doula training at Blooma. Just 6 weeks postpartum, Khilah walked right into the world of birthwork. Many dear friends worried that she was taking on that work too soon after her own loss. And a training like that certainly isn’t for everyone, especially in the throes of loss.
But Khilah has the deeply intuitive sense that this was her path to healing. Becoming a doula and a women’s circle facilitator has changed her life. Now, part of Khilah’s mission is to support women not only in birth, but also in times of loss.
A Place to Feel Safe and Understood
This women’s circle offers a sisterhood where you can find compassion, peace, healing, encouragement and mom-to-mom grief support after the loss of a child. Here you can feel safe, understood, held — loved. Here you can speak your truth about what life after loss is really like. Here you can be silent among moms who get it. Here you can cry freely. Here you can find hope. Here the name of your precious child will be remembered, honored, cherished — spoken.
This loss circle comes from a place of empowerment and support. It’s not a therapy circle, but it is meant to provide a confidential, safe place for women to lift each other up and stand in the truth of their journey. Loss can feel isolating, and a loss circle provides a community to share. Any woman who has experienced a loss –in pregnancy at any gestation, in birth, infant or a child at any age– can attend the Sisterhood of Loss Circle.
What Happens in Circle
The day opens with warm greetings and grounding and breathing exercises. Khilah leads the group in a short meditation to become present. We allow time to go of stress and distractions. We speak the commitments of the circle:
- Anything shared is kept confidential
- We listen without fixing. This is a place for hearing others and listening.
- The Loss Circle is a safe place to share. You can share as little or as much about your loss story.
- No two losses are the same, and we encourage women to simply share without comparison.
You’re Enough As You Are
We recommend that you bring a journal to write down any feelings you have during journaling time. Wear whatever you’re comfortable in for sitting, writing, talking, and breathing. Bring anything you’d like to share that helps tell your loss story. Most importantly, come as you are.
As Khilah has moved through her loss journey since 2015, she’s found this wisdom to be most helpful: Be how you need to be when you need to be it.
We hope you will choose to join us on Sunday for our Sisterhood of Loss Circle. But if you’re not ready now, Khilah will call the circle again. We’d be honored for you to join us as often as you can.